I wish spam were true
If SPAM were true, then in the past 24 hours I’d:
- be pre-approved for a house loan.
- have a 14-incher in my shorts.
- lose 30 pounds in 6 days.
- be collecting 20% of $1,993,940.83 just for accepting a wire-transfer.
- be buying cigarettes at an all-time low cost (I don’t smoke).
- be buying Windows XP for $20.00 legally.
- be dating online with some of the hottest girls on the planet (I’m married).
- be watching girls in their bedrooms, even though they don’t know about it.
and much much more.
Seriously though, sometimes I do find myself wishing that I got SPAM that was actually worthwhile. In my opinion SPAM, in some form or another, is here to stay on the Internet. Instead of wading through useless SPAM messages, it’d be nice to actually feel like you could take advantage of some of these offers, without the anxiety of thinking that these guys could be fake, illegitimate businesses. As you can see from the above list, this stuff isn’t targeted all that well. However, most Directors of Marketing that like to SPAM would tell you differently. I’d be interested to start seeing worthwhile SPAM, since no matter what we do, it’s impossible to block it all.
I mean, who wouldn’t be interested in spending 6 days and 7 nights on a remote island with a bunch of farm animals, a bottle of Crisco, a no-limit pre-approved credit card and a bottle of Viagra? Full-well-knowing that you’d be returning after said vacation to your brand-new, pre-approved loan bought $500,000 home full of cheap electronics running even cheaper software - all-the-while being safely secured by X10 web-enabled security cameras. Wow, that’s a lot of hyphens.
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